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home in the head

by Tell the Wall

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1.
i am not a fan of funerals or weddings because essentially they are the same thing it's not for the happy couple or the rotting corpse it's for the people who feel happy, they don't have it worse am i cynic, because i'm a cynic or because i's easy do i feel sad because i'm sad or because it's interesting it's not upsetting but it's the truth, and only the truth Chorus: i am a little more than concerned for you mental well being maybe this is how every teenager is meant to be feeling i'm alright great good i'm fine i'm alright great good i'm fine i have this dream that you and me were in a jail cell and the only way out is to use a gun but i can't bring myself to do it after you said "max i'm done i'm done" i pulled you from the bridge every single time my dreams are what's troubling me that's why i can't get sleep i kept those stupid shoes i'd like to think it makes me deep i just want an answer and that's enough Chorus
2.
i'd like to think that i can go deeper than your average ordinary teenager but i am a silver screen liar cuz everday your average ordinary teenager plunges deeper and deeper into the thought that they will have their very own sitcom life is not a movie or a tv show its not a comic book or a webcast so lets be alright with no plo twist tonight cuz i as your average ordinary teenager would like to state that i probably couldn't take the thought of someone controlling my plot line cuz i am your average ordinary teenager and that makes me extraordinarily good at being a human yeah i am alright yeah i am just fine so lets be alright just for tonight i'll save the lies for tomorrow life is not extraordinary no dear it's quite the contrary it's the places you go the people you meet the hearts that you break the love that you seek and you can see how beautiful it can be i am your average ordinary teenager and that makes me extraordinarily good at being a human yeah i am alright yeah i am just fine so lets be alright just for tonight i'll save the lies for tomorrow yeah i am a silver screen liar
3.
you were the catalyst i was the enzyme breaking me down one chemical process at a time a dopamine water slide i was a tidied up stain free motel room just before i met you and you were the first traveler to wreck my room you were a stop light under the moonlight i wasn't licensed to drive was waitin on you, i just drove on through and caused quite a stie cuz you're the first one at the door at night and you're the second of us to leave i thought of you and the things you do and how i might've chaned there's a home in my head you visit frequently i visit frequently there's a home in my head it's gettin crowded now gettin crowded she was a tower she was a gold dress she was a fire she's just a plain text they were a horn line they were a shakespeare quote they're just a puff of smoke my thoughts are the monster my thoughts are the killer my thoughts use a crappy filter they make me wanna say things didn't go my way today cuz they're the first ones at the door at night and they're the last of us to leave i thought of them and everything i've said and it's hard to take it all in cuz they're the first ones at the door at night and my god they never leave i thought of you and those things you do and what if you never leave they're always at the door there's a home in my head you visit frequently i visit frequently there's a home in my head its gettin quiet now its gettin quiet
4.
why sleep, when there's so much fun to be had my brain seems to think, that we could run all the way to you and back do do do's honestly i don't know why you'd every want to leave honestly the caffeine, probably doesn't help and honestly i'm to tired, to sleep
5.
thinkin bout movies supposed to think in real life thought about those kids killin them self maybe they know somethin we don't know maybe the show somethin we're afraid to show but i, seem to have it all wrong none of those movies are about kids killin them self all of those movies are about a light switch yeah a light switch i can hear the sharks i can taste the blood i can smell the fear it's comin for me dear comin for me those two guys whom i admired found ways to expire at the tip of a needle and i am afraid yes i am afraid that any day will be my twenty seven day i can feel the dark suffocate my lungs and i, am afraid yes i
6.
7.
my shoes 03:35
well you got the good news and i got used a promise to stay away broken like the calm of day wouldn't you say well worn shoes of mine friends weathered by the time regret finds me in a funny way a broken girl a million dollar place and i like to think that i had a part in putting back that heart and just when it seemed like my life was easy to loose my shoes tore in two well you got the surprise and i got opened eyes a gloomy type kid had his life changed with a single move of the head well worn shoes of mine friends weathered by the time regret finds me in a funny place cute as hell and great music taste and i know now that it's all on me you're still in my dreams and just when it seemed like, to much to bear my shoes began to tear
8.
what if we never had to be this way what if we could change it was sunny in the morning but the clouds they always came and it rained oh how it rained and it rained on the eiffel tower when i let you step away on that fateful day when my my thoughts were swayed and it rained on the roof of the high school during homecoming day when i at your touch feel to my knees and it rained
9.
and the sky i presume is still the same sad shade of blue and i will be alright i know i've said those words before and i know they've been little more than a metaphor but tonight in a sick and twisted sense i mean them and i want to be strong without my right hand thoughts and tonight i'll be alright just be alright because it's best case scenario worst case mind i'm a pessimist don't you know it's worst case scenario best case mind i' m whiner don't you know worst case scenario best case mind we were beautiful don't you know worst case scenario best case mind i simply refuse to go
10.
it's an anniversary but not one i'm proud of and she says max i think i'll stay here forever and i'll stay the same no matter how many times i say i'll change mom please don't be so disappointed i don't decide no i never decide i'll just be where they want me to be for the rest of my life when i come through yeah when they find me i'll be long long gone right where they want me oh god

about

All the songs on this album were written by Max Trainor, (except for i think you were in my profile picture once, that is a Modern Baseball song) starting in October of 2014 and finishing in September of 2015. The album was recorded over a three month process from June 2015 to September 2015. All sounds by Max Trainor. This album was produced and mixed by Max Trainor on location in my bedroom. The album cover was photographed and edited by myself and Becca Trainor (my sister), with additional design inputs from Kiel Koontz and Meredith Jarvis. The album on the cover is Trouble Will Find Me by The National (check it out its good).

credits

released September 27, 2015

I would like to thank everyone who ever gave me an opinion on my music and these people in particular:

My Mom, Dad, and Sister- for putting up with the noise and presenting a mostly unbiased ear
Jesse Ericksen- For being a great friend and letting me "baby-sit" your bass guitar
My friends- who suffered through many many early versions of songs
Those who inspired these songs- You kept me up at night and made me think

Again, Thanks

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Tell the Wall Indianapolis, Indiana

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